So Zayn Malik (you know, that one from that boyband some of us have heard of) has said on Twitter he fancies a change of hairstyle. “Right guys I need opinions,” he writes. “I either wanna cut my hair short or grow it really long what dya think?” Well, Zayn, we have some ideas. Hear us out…
A. ‘The Bald’
Stressing out over one’s hair is something that always occupies a great deal of time on a daily basis. Would it not be easy to just do away with it altogether? And who better who lead the bald-bonced revolution than a member of the world’s most famous boyband? And OK, he may look a little like Right Said Fred (you’re both a legend and old if you get that reference) but we’d get used to it, right? Right? Anyone? (Note: Is 86% certain to look better in real-life than with our shoddy Photoshopping).
B. ‘The Rocker’
Do we think 1D should toughen up their image? Why not grow out their hair and resemble those who grace the front covers of NME, Kerrang!, Rolling Stone et al? You know, like that bloke from that band… or that other bloke from that other band. Plus, we think long locks give Our Zayn a slightly wiser appearance. Alright, so his sex appeal may spiral downhill faster than Alexandra Burke’s record sales (we love you, Alexandra), but if the band ever split (*knocks on wood*) then at least he can find another career as a poet or a Victorian politician. Hair fans may also be delighted to hear that that is in fact Tulisa’s hair we have (poorly) super-imposed onto Mr Malik’s scalp.
C. ‘The Annie’
Without a shadow of a doubt, this one has our seal of approval. Making himself a lot more eligible to play the title role in a Broadway revamp of the musical Annie, Zayn’s lovely perm would also fit him right in with the ladies down at the local Mecca Bingo. Plus, who else can you name who has hair like this? It’s like if Ed Sheeran visited a salon in the 1960s. Maybe he’d start a revolution… the perm would suddenly become popular for teenage boys the world over. Imagine your school corridor populated with arrogant lads with ginger frizz? It’d be amazing. Yes, it definitely has to be this one.